Fun Times with the Fungi
by Abicion
Summary: The cast of FFX-2 rediscover their roots.


THE DEFENSIVE INSTINCTS OF A MALBORO are something the Gullwings should have considered with more caution. They knew this particular Malboro was a bit large for its species. They also knew it was responsible for the recent increase in monster attacks near these woods. Unfortunately, it never dawned to them that it may have been more than just another overgrown tree stump with ugly teeth and bad breath.

The usual tactics worked well at the beginning. They had found the monster rumbling about the heart of the forest, crawling anywhere there was soft soil for its roots to move thorough. By the time it noticed all three of its attackers, the Gullwings had already formed a triangle around it. Paine and Rikku flanked the creature's sides with sword and dagger attacks, while Yuna stayed further way firing rounds into the creature's front.

Things changed when the Malboro refused to stay down. Paine and Rikku's hits were barely carving into its bark and Yuna had to gradually move closer to make more pinpoint shots. Soon all three were in striking distance. They became so focused on ending the Malboro's existence that they failed to realize the creature was getting ready to belch its poisonous breath.

Any form of strategy ended in the green-black noxious cloud. Even if they hadn't been blinded by the attack, there was no way any of Gullwings would be able call orders to her partners over all of the coughing and choking. It was every woman for herself in a blurry, lightheaded world. They had walked right into the monster's crowd control tactics.

The Malboro's new advantage would only last a few seconds. Noticing its three enemies shared a specific vulnerability, it decided on the most natural course of action. Three of its tentacle vines lunged toward the corners of the staggered triangle. The bulb at the end of each arm split open to reveal a single needle-like thorn.

The horrors those vines were capable of. They could go straight for the neck, strangling their hapless prey like a living garrote. With a few quick movements and the right amount of pressure, they might have been able rip the Gullwings apart limb from limb. Perhaps they only wanted to reel their targets in, allowing the Malboro to finish the job and devour them one by one.

The tentacles paused for a split second when they were an inch away from each girl's exposed navel.

The Gullwings gasped in pain when they were pierced, but the plume of anesthetic gases they had been breathing took hold soon enough. Yuna lost her aim while Rikku and Paine dropped their weapons completely. While the team struggled to stay on their feet, the Malboro treated them with a dark fluid through their makeshift umbilical cords.

The creature's tentacle foliage spread apart as a mushroom umbrella sprouted from its top. The fungal arrangement grew taller and broader by the second. The Gullwings had just enough awareness to realize the mushroom's underside was neatly divided into three human-sized gills. The cap rooted itself back in the ground before the girls could make any final resistance, sealing the environment around the Malboro and allowing it to peacefully germinate its new spores.

To Yuna's hazy senses, the whole ordeal felt like Floral Fallal gone wrong.

* * *

Paine's cell was the first to explode several hours later. She stumbled out of her third of the giant mushroom in a cloud of dust, looking as dazed as when she was first trapped in the structure. Her warrior Dressphere had the same basic design as before, only now it looked like it had been crafted out of black rose petals. She briefly scratched at a small ivy rash on her stomach. In a few more hours, her old human allergies would disappear just like her humanity.

Yuna vented next, brushing some leftover fungus and plant-flesh from her body once she was out in the fresh air. Her gunner dress remained mostly the same, but now a trail of lilacs hung from her waist and two long blades of grass decorated her hair. Her shirt and her shorts were molded out of organic latex and lined with pink petals.

Rikku came last, struggling to keep her balance along with the others. Her bandana and miniskirt were all that remained of her original thief gear, and even those were just approximations weaved out of the same material as Yuna's clothes. Only one of the equipment packs on her belt was still intact, and all it contained was some moldy dirt and dried weeds. Her bikini top had become a vine that wrapped around her torso and used two large leaves to cover her personal bits. Her scarf was now a wreath of dandelions, her sleeves were covered with chamomiles, and a family of sunflowers had taken residence in her ponytail.

Patches of earth tone marked each girl's skin. Most of the blemishes were concentrated around the face and midriff. A thin film of amber slime slowly dripped off of them with every movement. The matching green glow in their eyes made them look slightly like triplets.

The mushroom dome finally collapsed. The cap detached from the Malboro's head, allowing it to weakly sliver deeper into the forest. The three small monsters it had left in its wake were still trying to pull their senses together by the time it was hidden.

Yuna stretched her damp arms.

"That was refreshing." Her lilacs bloomed in unison as she cheerfully yawned.

"I still think it was pretty gross," said Rikku. "I know he wanted to win us over so we could help him take care of this place, but did he have to do it like _that?_"

"What did you expect, he's an Elder Guardian. Why would you try to end life when your entire purpose is to preserve it? We gave him an opportunity and he improvised." Paine shrugged.

Rikku raised her hand to her nose, took a couple light whiffs of the ooze, and recoiled at the smell. "This stinks. Do you think I can wash myself off anywhere around here?"

Paine stopped to think. "There's a stream a couple miles that way. You should be careful, though, Rikku. You'll shrivel up if you get watered too many times in one day."

"How'd you know that? I thought this was your first time here." Rikku asked curiously.

Yuna answered first. "I knew it, too. It's like I know the entire forest by heart. It's just… nature, I guess."

Rikku scratched her head for a few seconds. Her face lit up when she came to an epiphany.

"Oh, yeah. I get what you guys are talking about now. That makes sense."

"Don't take too long. Father Malboro will want to talk to us soon." Paine idly rubbed her thumb to her forefinger. A tiny drop of poison formed on the tip of her nail. "It's probably something about getting rid more intruders."

Rikku tilted her head to complain. "Can't we get it out of the way now?" From this point on, she always looked forward to the prospect of killing anything that didn't belong in her woods.

"He needs to rest. Spawning takes a lot out of him." Yuna shot her a teasing grin.

The three Gullwings were never heard from again. Around the time they disappeared, rumors concerning a group of Spriggan sisters guarding the woods began circulating nearby towns. It's said they scorned any woman who tried to be as beautiful as them, and they toyed with the hearts of men only to butcher them moments later. And there were many plant puns.

**The End**


End file.
